The Woman of My Dreams - Reflections of a Young Man™

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The Woman of My Dreams

This is the mischievous Starehe Boys' 2F Class of '03, of which I was a member, in a lesson of Mr. Martin Moore - our wonderful History teacher from Indiana, United States. I was not captured in the picture though.

Mr. John Mwaura was teaching us Swahili in 2F one morning when he digressed by saying, "There are some young men who fall in love with old sugar mummies..." I can't recall what else he said but I do remember my classmate Ngaruiya shouted back, "Thuita!"

Ngaruiya was certainly poking fun at me in our usual brotherly mischief because I have never been in a relationship but at least he made me cautious not to be seduced by old women while still a young handsome man as some people say I am. And that brings me to the topic of the woman of my dreams.

I have thought about her for the last nine years and progressively developed a clearer picture of her with time. Like in '07, all I wanted was a young attractive woman with whom we could hold hands when walking on the streets. But these days, I want her also to be a Christian who respects the beliefs of others and with whom I share similar interests, values as well as dreams. A true soul-mate.

Though I have tried to be patient in meeting my soul-mate, I must confess that I have at times become impatient with finding my soul-mate by spending a lot of data searching her on social media, dating sites and phone services. I also did put a Ksh. 1,000 advert in the Saturday Nation women magazine in late 2014 stating briefly that I needed a woman. Of course I did receive calls and messages from numerous females but none of them fitted the woman of my dreams because they were not writers.

After reading all the turmoil that some people go through in relationships, I have finally decided to exercise patience with finding my soul-mate. And as I continue praying for divine connection, I will let this piece of advice I came across in the web be my guiding torch:
"If you ever fall in love, fall in love with someone who wants to know your favourite colour and just how you like your coffee.
Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it.
Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest just to hear your heart beat.
Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know.
Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place.
Fall in love with someone who would never want to hurt you.
Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and thinks you're perfect just the way you are.
Fall in love with someone who thinks that you're the one they would love to wake up to each day." [1]
While I will try to be patient and follow that advice, I pray that everything falls in place so that I have a colourful wedding on the December of 2017, a week or so before my 30th birthday and thus transit into my 30s as a married man. So help me God.

[1] If you know the author of this quote, please let me know so that I can acknowledge her and link my audience to one of her books.


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An Inspiring Prayer

Let me make a confession: I am an avid reader - a habit I picked up when I first began revising for the SAT exam in August '06 because my revision book stated that the best way to ace the exam was to read widely and wisely. I am confessing that because there was a time I didn't want people to know me as a reader for I associated books with dullness, strictness and anti-social behaviour like I observed in some of my university lecturers. Luckily for me, reading has made me creative, humble, discerning and fun to be with.

Before I resolved to only read books that are truly educative and well-written, I used to devour almost any book I came across especially classics and autobiographies. And I noted that I would sometimes move across the pages of some books with my eyes while my mind was far away in another world - certainly the kind of reading I will discourage in my children. But occasionally, I would be awakened from my trance by a sentence that touched me which I would underline and sometimes memorize.

That is what exactly happened when I first read the vaunted autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - one of the founding fathers of America whose visionary leadership helped transform the country into the mightiest super-power the world has seen so far. I was drifting through it absent-mindedly but determinedly sometime in 2012 when I came across this inspiring prayer in the book:
"Father of light and life, thou good supreme!
O teach me what is good, teach me Thyself!
Save me from folly, vanity and vice,
From every low pursuit and fill my soul,
With knowledge, conscious peace and virtue pure;
Sacred, substantial, never-fading bliss!" [1]
That prayer touched me so much that I drilled it into my memory with relative ease and found myself reciting it when walking like I did yesterday evening. It clearly states all that I desire to be in a way that I can't express in my own words. And I am striving to be a living example of all that the prayer summarizes wittily.

[1] I have extracted this prayer from page 81 of the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, published in 1998 by the Pennsylvania State University.


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The Starehe Parting Advice

Photo of my friend Samuel Sifuna, the bugler on the left side, during his days at Starehe Boys' Centre. I have displayed the photo here with his permission. Copyright © all rights reserved worldwide.

Situated next to a slum on the outskirts of downtown Nairobi is Starehe Boys' Centre: a First-World school founded by Dr. Geoffrey Griffin in 1959 to help transform needy boys into self-reliant gentlemen. I was fortunate to be admitted to the school on 17th January of 2002 after scoring a surprising 421 mark in the national primary school examinations - surprising because of my mediocre marks in Standard Eight continuous assessment tests.

After attending Starehe for close to six years for high school as well as college education, I was lucky to be released into the world in peace on April 2007 by the then new director of the school in a church service on which I was charged never to forget the great benefits I had received in Starehe, and in time to come, according to my means, I do all I can to enable others enjoy the same advantage; and to remember that I carried with me wherever I went, the good name of Starehe.

I was also advised to be of good courage; to hold fast that which is good; to listen for the voice of truth; to think fairly; to love widely; to witness humbly; to render to no man evil for evil; to strengthen the faint-hearted; to support the weak; to help the afflicted; to honour all men; to love brotherhood; to build bravely and to serve God.

In an uplifting prayer, I was prayed for that God's loving-kindness and mercy may follow me all the days of my life; that He may succour me in temptation; that He may preserve me in danger; that He may assist me in every good work; that He may bless me in my ways; that He may keep me in the knowledge of His love; that He may prosper me in all things good; and that He may keep me in the way that leads to eternal life.

That parting advice sounds wise but guess what? I did not listen to it in the service because my mind was preoccupied with other issues like the rejection letters I had received from top American Colleges that had depressed me especially the one from MIT. It was only seven years later in 2014 that I re-visited the advice after leading a frustrating life of constant struggle.

I am thinking that my life would have turned out better had I heeded the advice right from the time I left Starehe in 2007. But I did not because I looked down on some people, failed to stand up for myself, run away from home, permitted some people to mistreat me, allowed others to con me, overslept during the day and cheated when I re-applied to top American colleges. No wonder I got frustrated with life.

Indeed, that Starehe parting advice was wise. It was certainly not available online but it was on-point.


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